Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Stock futures are little changed with trade talks, inflation data on deck this week: Live updates - CNBC

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Is it possible to make cars that run on water instead of gasoline or other fossil fuels? Why haven't we done so yet?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What do you think are the real reasons Matt Gaetz just withdrew his name for Attorney General in the upcoming Trump administration?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women, Denies Allegations - People.com

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Asia-Pacific markets trade mixed as investors assess Trump claims of 'done' deal with China - CNBC

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Australia's Qantas to close budget airline Jetstar Asia - BBC

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy bullshit

Why is it so common for married white women to have an affair with black men? Does it bother white guys?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

"More problems than it was helping”: Behind the growing distrust of antidepressants - Salon.com

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Boulder attack updates: Multiple people injured in 'act of terror,' FBI says - ABC News

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP